WE MUST DO
IS 17/01/96 AND FOLLOWING
MONTHS OF EMOTIONAL UPHEAVAL I DECIDE IT
MAY BE INTERESTING TO START KEEPING A DIARY ON MY LIFE AND THOUGHTS. SO
BEGAN THE LABYRINTH BUSKER JOURNAL - HANDWRITTEN, WHILE BUSKING,
TRAVELLING, LOVING, SURVIVING IN SEVERAL COUNTRIES.
THE JOURNAL IS AROUND 750,000 WORDS LONG AND REACHED THE END OF ITS LIFE WITH MY RETURN TO ENGLAND AND THE CHANCE OF SEEING MY DAUGHTER REGULARLY.
with thought provoking
articles on busking, philosophy, the universe.
Whole books from a busking diary written while busking Europe in the last years of the last millenium.
Glimpses of a 750,000 word diary that could radically alter your view on life, love and the soul.
|As the diary progressed it
became ever more attuned to the motivations of Heart, Mind, Body and Soul with
their relevance and interaction gradually dissected amongst those who
came my way. People who shared love or any of love's by-products
(including hate) form the spine of the work, but the diary is forever
moving forward at a rapid or gradual pace.
Images or food
Prose and poems
Diary snippets Antwerp,1996
Buskers Good and True
Some fine buskers I've met along the way
Brian Songs for Rachel
Motivation behind some of my songs
A collection of bite size stories and articles
Pick a song and listen on your default player
Labyrinth Busker top Ten
Which pages are hot on www.buskerbrian.com
Things we must do
Antwerp, January '96 - Complete book from diary
Amusement and fracas on a night out in Rome
Belief, Heaven and Zolar
Exploring the need to believe
Tale of Uptown Suzy
Highly charged emotions dominate this event in 1995
The Societies within me
Are you one consciousness, or a vessel for many?
The Missing Link
The Human invasion of Earth
Cranky Brian shoots a theory or two on the universe
Gender Role reversal
No one is 100% male or female. Cue the Heartbreaker.
The Green Busker
It is Spring, 1994 and an inexperienced "busker" takes a ferry to Belgium.
My grandfather was a lighthouseman and farmer in Iceland
Cue the Heartbreaker.
A list of some pages on my sites that may be of interest
Know what you're looking for? Search my site.
Jesus? Celtic or Rangers?
My busking pitch is interrupted by religious zealots promising the "good life".
Lyrics from some of my songs
New Clear Winter
May, 1996, and this diary book heralds a calm before the storm of fascinating experiences that would make the remainder of 1996 so special.
Plato and Socrates debate Beauty
An imaginary debate between plato and Socrates on Beauty.
Hurricane Rita, Asperger's, Bob Dylan
A look at the boxes we use to define mental illness, mild autism and suchlike. Could it be that we are not normal?
Soulmate: A five minute Play
A woman is faced with seeking to isolate one advisor within her. Heart, mind, soul and body present their case in this short Play.
The Tortoise and the Hare (Rabbit)
Two months on from "New Clear Winter" and the busker has aided "Arthur" to lift the sword from the stone. It is time for more adventure in Luzern, Bern and Gstaad.
Home is emotional fulfillment
The main title for the Tortoise and Hare book.
Time is Temperature. They are one and the same, and everything that is, was, and will be, follows a set sequence. This sequence can be defined as "explosion".
Enjoy a few short videos. Show lasts half an hour or so.
|There's always something more to
find with the Labyrinth Busker journal
must do - Chapter Ten.
...the first book of the journal
concludes with a cat's tail
05/02/96 - Mon - Antwerp - Or how about, "Good evening. As you can't make out a word I say let me just call you all bastards."
People say all the world needs is peace and understanding. I get neither from railway announcers, especially when I want to have a cosy talk with Ruana.
Jeez! Am I getting as cynical and cold as Ruana?
Ruana said she would have done the same as I with Ingrid.
I was telling her of my receipt of the new photos of Rachel. One of the disadvantages of cutting out other people's problems is the loss of perception over things you have no immediate understanding of (like railway announcers). Seriously, though, her suggestion that I go to Ireland to see Rachel BEFORE going to Switzerland was not thought out, because if it was just that then I would have gone several times. But this is a separation situation. I wouldn't dream of going to Ireland penniless. To do such a thing would be to put extra strain financially on my wife, instead of supplementing Rachel's upbringing. In actual fact, it would be preferable, despite the cost, to have them visit me here, because at least I can still be earning.
Probably, I will have to go over there, but first I need money; enough to say "here is something toward Rachel's upkeep."
Ruana has well coloured perceptions of situations that have passed her way - or on those where she has felt the need to study. But, beyond that, her perceptions drift into black and white. All in all, however, it was nice to speak to her...and I never got around to cancelling weekly calls. She finished with a "big hug".
Well, maybe I can use my imagination.
But my imagination is not too good with 'real life'. Last night, there were three girls all offering smiles of interest in the Muziekdoos. I really don't know how best to deal with this, because I need new female contacts.
The only thing I can do is say,"...the next girl who smiles at me I shall approach and say something."
What? I don't know. It really is time to toss the dice. I can't say no girl is interested in me. An awful lot of girls do seem to be. It's only me that's creating my loneliness.
I must think, 'Ruana and Char are my past. Who is my future?
It really is time to toss the dice.
06/02/96 - Tues - So, predictably the bureaucrats show their small minded teeth. Yesterday I was stopped on the Meir as the police began a clampdown - a month earlier than I think they would normally do...because of politics.
"Do you have permission to play?"
"Then I'm afraid you cannot play here until you have a permit."
"And are these permits easy to get?"
"Oh yes! The building is down by the Grote Markt,"
"I've heard they fling red tape at you."
"I don't know! he replied, and probably didn't, "but if I see you playing along here without a permit...then I will have to take you to the police station and..." he pointed at the guitar..."you will probably lose that."
So...this could be a few tricky days, while the issue of busking is still on political minds, stirred up (no doubt) by the week long debate in the newspapers.
But this makes life difficult for me. They could have had this two weeks from now - it would be close enough to the terrace season to head south. But, as it stands, I still need the rent money and not being able to busk the Meir makes it especially hard...unless I seek out some alternative.
I saw Gerhard down the 'Doos in the evening. He is Flemish, and can get permits as a result, without any problem So I suggested I went to the bureaucrats with him. It's possible that if we claim to be a duo or trio or something it will circumvent the racism of this town's busking laws.
Compared to the Swiss the Flemish are far too tolerant of their town councils. In Switzerland, there is even the possibility to change unwanted laws through the system of 'petition'. In Switzerland a petition is not just an empty system of protest to be ignored by bigoted politicians. If you are able to collect 10,000 signatures to your petition then bye laws can be introduced or overturned. Thus was it made possible to busk the REAR carriages of trams in Geneva.
Here, the Flemish seem to think, "Oh! That's the law, is it? That's a shame!"
They make little attempt to challenge unjust laws. They make a big show of thwarting the Vlamms Blok and its open rascist policies, but condone by their acceptance Fascism in their laws.
This is a natural consequence of their voting system. With this, everyone who has the right to vote must, or face a fine. But registered foreigners (Dutch, German, French, English, whatever) have no right to vote...even though, like John (Dutch) at the Cafe Centrum, they have run respectable businesses in the town for years.
So the Vlamms Blok got almost 30% of the the vote...and people were horrified enough to have 'anti fascist' marches.
The Vlamms Blok DIDN'T get almost 30% of the population of Antwerp's support. They got almost 30% of the Flemish peoples' support. So almost 1 in 3 Flemish people believe that their own inadequacies and difficulties are caused by foreigners.
No doubt, if voting in England was restricted to 'pure blood' English you would get similar results. In the end, once you reach the exteme, then Croations can blame the Serbs (and vice versa) for economic problems...or more likely because they want a bigger slice of the cake.
Cultural interchange creates wealth. Cultural protectionism creates stagnation and small minds.
While I was sitting in De Klamper yesterday I felt inspired to write lyrics about my lifestyle...its 'freedom' and emotional limitations. I went back to the appartment and instantly composed music round it...and thus was born "Boundary Lines" . I played it down the 'Doos in front of a small, but quiet audience...and they liked it.
Another song. Another step. Another addition to my overall artistic strength.
I think it is very likely that these songs, written in Antwerp, will break through elsewhere in Europe, because, frankly, I find myself getting annoyed by the town.
Talking to Everts...he feels very much the same. It is a shame, because there are a lot of fine people in this town and the potential for growth in the music business is promising. But if the interchange of culture and the importing of foreign talent is discouraged...then the lack of competition and new ideas will create stagnation - and any growth will be checked. Even now the Belgians have not truly cracked the European market.
Really, it is about time they did! The Dutch have.
This Summer I need to find my cultural homes. The places where I should be. They need to be places that show interest in creativity and where the speaking of English is fairly widespread. Bern seems promising....and I think, maybe Luzern. Some towns in southern Germany may be promising - who knows?
French areas can be good, but I really want people to understand, as best as able, my lyrics. In the end, of course, it will have to be Britain and Ireland...the home of my culture.
Hopefully, this Summer will produce for me what I really need. An established act.
Meanwhile, I piece together the jig saw. I don't really know myself what the sum of what I've done so far ammounts to. But, as it is, I probably overplay the 'Doos - at least according to those who don't listen. The latest I heard, from Gerhard, is that Maria the landlady is a fan and listens to my lyrics quite carefully, but that Etienne thinks I play the same songs.
To those who don't listen that will be the impression, because you can do 3 new songs in a set and 2 well trodden ones. Those who don't listen will hear the latter two and not the former 3.
Annoyed (generally at the moment), I felt this needed a defence, so I went into the other room with a piece of paper and drew a cat. I then folded the sheet so that only the last part of the cat's tail showed. I returned to Gerhard and his friend Kris, saying, "Right now! Tell me what this is!"
Gerhard turned the light on to it and said, " I don't know! A snake?"
Kris said, "Um...is it a tail?"
Ah! "That's perceptive!" I replied.
I unfolded the paper to show the cat. I then said, " When I play the Muziekdoos all you will hear is that equivalent portion of the tail. What my repertoire is? That's the cat! One day people will see the whole cat and then understand."
But, of course, not everyone. Just those who are waiting to see the cat, because they already recognise the tail. top
THINGS WE MUST DO...Book one of the Labyrinth Busker Journal ends here.
Read earlier chapters of this book
COMPLETE ONLINE DIARY SEGMENTS:
Want something to read for an hour or two?
Then the life and loves of a busker can take you into his world for awhile. Reliant entirely on his music and what he can earn from it in bars, on terraces and the street (plus the mutual aid and faith of his friends), he colours his inner and outer worlds with layers of purpose and belief that stretch from real, felt, imaginary to flights of fancy.
What actually is real, felt, imaginary or a flight of fancy can often surprise him as well as those who line his path.
The busker monitors his path as Lone Wolf in the spirit world of the Soul as love and relationship quandaries abound in an historic Swiss city.
With close to zero busking experience, a man sallies forth from Britain with an idea of busking to survive. He had a one way ticket, no money and a massive well of despair.
Tortoise & Hare
New Clear Winter
Monster in NY
Things we must do
Other sites presented by the Labyrinth Busker journal:
audio.buskerbrian.com My songs with lyrics
free.buskerbrian.com About me
home.buskerbrian.com Loads of articles, stories and titbits
apachejohn.buskerbrian.com Bishop's Stortford based band
leddrain.buskerbrian.com Swiss based singer/songwriter
wolf.buskerbrian.com Busking adventures in Bern
wildwolf.buskerbrian.com Part Two: Busking adventures in Bern
moon.buskerbrian.com My music, plus featured acts. plus colour
as.buskerbrian.com Asperger's Syndrome
pearce.buskerbrian.com Family Photos over 100 years
Iceland Genealogy Family ancestry over 1,000 years
Pearce Genealogy British ancestry (Hornchurch. Rickling Green)
Cranky Brian "History of time" Provoking ideas in philosophy and science
My space Become a friend
Contact me Just that
Online Diary Podcasts
|COMPLETE ONLINE DIARY
Tortoise & Hare
New Clear Winter
Monster in NY
Things we must do